When I lived in London, much of my social life was consumed by online dating. I signed up to all sorts of different matchmaking websites, and I used to meet two or three guys a week. I had a great time, met some lovely guys, some of whom I'm still friends with today. Yes, there were one or two horror stories, but on the whole, it was a lot of fun.
In Dubai, I've been heavily reliant on friends to set me up with eligible bachelors that they know. This is partially because most dating websites are blocked. Yes, in a country where an arranged marriage to your cousin is the norm, dating is still somewhat a taboo, despite the fact that the 90% of the city's population is made up of expats. But hey, that's their rules and I've learnt to live with it for the last five years.
However, recently, a friend of mine introduced me to a dating application available on Facebook that has not yet been blocked. I was excited at the prospect of being cast back to my ways of dating, circa 2003, and eagerly set up an account. In anticipation as to whom I might find on one of the only available dating sites in the country, I immediately went through the site's list of eligible bachelors... except they weren't so eligible.
I'm not quite sure what it is about online dating in Dubai, but it just doesn't produce the goods like it does in London. I must have trudged through almost a hundred profiles to find only one or two guys who weren't either sex-obsessed maniacs, passport grabbers or just complete weirdos. Within minutes, I'd received a number of messages saying 'Txt 050 76X XXXX plz', 'Hi Babie' and 'You want meet for sex'. Obviously, none of these gentlemen particularly appealed to me.
Now, without coming across as a complete snob, I'm looking for someone who is articulate, can spell and can hold a decent conversation. After all, I work in communications and if you can not communicate properly, then, quite frankly, I'm just not interested. Sorry, but first impressions count, boys!
Now, I'm going to move on to onscreen names... If your onscreen name is something such as HeArTbrEakKiD, Sexy4U or Russian Mafia, then I'm probably going to skip right past your profile. Why? Because I don't want to date a kid that's going to break my heart, a guy who is sexy for all women on the web and beyond, or someone who might shoot me in my sleep. Just your name will do. If you really don't wish to reveal your identity on a dating website, why not just use your initials instead of making up some teenage chat room-esque name?
Bearing all that in mind, I'm left with very few guys on this website, and I haven't even taken into account physical features yet! I disregard all profiles without a picture. I'm sorry, but in this day and age, there is absolutely no excuse for not putting up at least one semi-decent photo, unless you're a total minger or have something sinister to hide. But not being one to give up, I persevere through the profiles. There are two or three guys that catch my eye, and so I drop them a line.
The first message is important, so I always make sure I refer to at least one or two points in their profile. Generic "Hi, how are you?" messages just won't cut it. The fist message needs to be flirty but not filthy, witty but not ridiculous and most of all, it needs to be intriguing. It needs to let my personality shine through without giving away too much away. You don't want to repeat what's already been said in your profile, but you also don't want to divulge your life story so, that when you do eventually go out on a date, they can find out more about you.
Once the perfect message has been crafted, all that's left to do is sit and wait for a reply. Quite often, this can be agonising - have they been online yet? Have they read the message? Have they just not had time to reply? Does my profile picture make me look too fat? Did they not get my sense of humour? Is it because I'm a smoker?
Not receiving a reply can feel like being dumped after a second date with a guy you quite like. You imagine what could have been with the cute man in the photo and wonder why he didn't even give you the chance to show him how wonderful you are by taking you on a date. But when you do receive a reply, all the hassle of scouring through all those profiles seems worthwhile, and you're reminded that you're still a catch, no matter how many dating disasters you've endured over the past few weeks.
I've not yet met any of the guys I've been having email conversations with, but I'm hoping they'll restore my faith in online dating in this city. I'm giving it two weeks for at least one date to materialise, otherwise I'm casting myself out of the dating world in Dubai because dating shouldn't be this difficult. Some girls have the patience for it, but I guess I just don't want it that badly anymore...
In the meantime, if any of my friends have real eligible bachelors to set me up with, they will be gratefully received!
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