I was 18 years old, sat on a sofa, glass of wine on the table.
Nobody else mattered. The only sound I could hear was my own heart beating, and
my surroundings completely forgotten. My eyes were closed and the hairs on the
back of my neck were standing on end, yet I felt nothing but warmth.
As I opened my eyes, I found myself staring into a deep blue
ocean. It was the most beautiful ocean I’d ever dipped into, and I
didn’t want to get out. I felt a closeness that filled my soul
with contentedness and happiness. It was an ethereal moment that’s a rare occurrence in my
life.
I closed my eyes again, took a deep breath in through my nose,
and pulled Mr. M.N. closer. Even though my eyes were shut, I could feel him
smiling. I reciprocated, which led us to both let out a little giggle. But we
didn’t speak a word. Our lips were locked - soft, gentle and, for that
moment, full of love.
I haven’t been kissed like that since.
More or less ten years on, I’m left wondering if that
kiss was a one off. I’ve come close to it once or twice, but neither of those were as
all-consuming as that kiss with Mr. M.N. Perhaps it’s something we’re supposed to have grown
out of? Most of us are now in such a hurry to get to the main event, we ignore
how close kissing can bring two people.
Unlike sex, you’re not concentrating on having an orgasm. You’re always in each others’ eye-line when you kiss,
and eyes are supposedly the window to the soul…
Whilst sex should probably be more intimate, in my experience,
that intimacy has largely been lost. Through the entertainment industry, it’s almost as though we’ve become desensitized to
sex. It’s now become a functional act, often requiring little emotional
investment.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs would support this statement – sex appears at the
foundation of the pyramid, classed as a ‘Physiological’ need, it’s the first of five types
of need, according to Maslow, that humans require to reach self-actualisation.
However, kissing comes under ‘Love and Belonging’, which is the third step on the pyramid. Ok, it’s labeled as ‘sexual intimacy’, but I really do believe
kissing is incredibly intimate.
There’s something about a kiss that tells you so much about the other
person. It’s passion beyond animalistic urges. It’s affection packaged in
the most beautiful way. It’s innocence and care all rolled into one.
But kissing isn’t just foreplay, it’s a standalone intimacy and no two kisses are ever the same.
There are varying levels of intensity and different kinds of emotions tied to
it. There’s a strong feeling of great affection when I share a lingering
kiss with someone, and once I start, I find it very difficult to stop.
I recently hooked up with an ex and, before getting up to leave,
we had a kissing session. I felt so close to him, like I could snuggle in close
and nothing would harm me. It gave me butterflies in my tummy, and during that
time we spent kissing, I felt so content. When I left, I couldn’t stop thinking about that
kiss. It had been the most caring kiss I’d had in a long time and I
felt disheartened that I probably wouldn’t enjoy that feeling again
for some time…
When a kiss can connect two people in a way sometimes sex can’t, I wonder why it’s so often overlooked.
Perhaps I haven’t met many men I feel comfortable being so affectionate with.
Maybe they have no desire to share that level of affection with me. Whatever it
is, I’m making a conscious effort to spend some extra time and... Kiss.
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