Google Is Your Friend

Most women won’t admit it, but I’m pretty sure they all do it; it’s become an integral way of finding out everything you need to know. Yes, that’s right, the Internet Stalk. Come on, ladies, you know what I’m talking about. If you insist that you have no idea what I mean, let me enlighten you… Whenever I meet (or further my relationship with) a guy, I like to find out a little more about them. And there is no better way than to pull out my Mac and type his name into Google.

The results can vary from ordinary to downright shocking. I’ve come across everything from their Facebook pages to comments on newspaper articles, compromising photos to personal addresses and articles they’ve written to open social networking sites. There’s a plethora of information out there about every one of us, a large chunk of which we have no control over. This, ladies, is the perfect way to uncover as much information about a guy you’re seeing as possible, without him thinking you’re a freak/internet stalker/bunny boiler.

Quite often, these internet searches determine whether or not I want to continue seeing the man in question. Sometimes, I’ll check out their photos on Facebook and realise that they look nothing like I remember from that drunken night out at the weekend. Sometimes their marital statuses have popped up, showing something I really wasn’t expecting. And other times, I read something they’ve written and think they’re just like me. In man form.

With all that information out there, would it be a waste of resources not to check them out? Or in 2011, do we take it too far and not give the other person a chance to divulge the details to us themselves? We’re in an age of wanting to know anything and everything immediately, and if we don’t, we assume the other person is hiding something or lying. Although, is it too far-fetched to think, after two dates, he may not yet feel comfortable telling you he’s leaving his wife? Or that he thinks he might scare you off if he told you he was head of the online crochet discussion forum? So how long do we wait to hear this information from the horse’s mouth? Do you try to prompt him for this information by asking questions such as, “So, what’s your most serious relationship?” or “Did you ever have to do Home Economics at school? I used to love the knitting class”?

The other thing about chatting to a guy you’ve internet searched, is it’s difficult to keep in check and remember whether they told you a certain bit of information, or if you read it on their MySpace or Bebo account. It’s a cringe-worthy when you start asking him how The Killers concert was, when he hasn’t so much as even discussed his music tastes with you. I mean, how do you get out of that? Unless you take a long shot and say you could tell he was into them by his dress sense.

Sometimes there will be times when you find yourself relieved to have Internet searched a guy before you agreed to go on that second date. He could be, for example, a womaniser who has several posts on Gumtree looking for casual sex. Or perhaps he has an alter-ego and goes by the name of Steph, instead of Steve, on a Friday night. Or maybe it’s more sinister and Interpol have a warrant for his arrest for sexual harassment charges. Whatever it is, typing his name into Google will at least give you some sort of peace of mind.

Then there are the guys you Google and end up liking even more. I must have spent ages reading about one particular guy, and everything I read made me want to know more. Unfortunately, in reality, the guy isn’t who I hoped he’d be – rude, arrogant and self-righteous – traits you can’t really detect online. But, as much as I hate him, I find it hard to refrain from typing his name into Google every now and then. I’ve completely fallen for his online personality and regularly dream up steamy scenarios in my head. But, there comes a time when I have to face the fact that it’s no longer acceptable for a woman of my age to have make-believe friends. No matter how much they turn me on. I’m not saying that time is today, but soon…

So, whilst Google and Facebook stalking a guy can bring up all sorts of vital information about him, it also runs the risk of us overlooking his traits in real life. I think, as long as that’s kept in perspective and we’re not getting caught up with what’s being said in cyberspace and becoming obsessive, it’s safe to Internet stalk him. After all, he’s probably too stupid to find out what you’re up to…