Me, Myself & I

Self-love; an important act that is, quite often, swept under the rug. Yes, Sam from Sex and the City did glorify the Rampant Rabbit, but as sex toys are banned in Dubai, there must be all sorts of ways that girls get themselves off. So, why aren't they talked about? And why is male masturbation also a taboo?

In a society where people are encouraged to preserve their virginity, why is it that we're not open about self-love? Is it that it's still not acceptable? Or is it because it's so personal, we don't want to divulge what we do, or how many times we do it, in case it's seen as 'weird'?

Some girls struggle to please themselves, having never explored their own nether regions. Others, like most men, just need their hand and a few minutes alone.

There a plenty of substitutes for the Rampant Rabbit; some of which I've never needed to explore. For example, I know some women use, what is effectively, a frozen dildo by filling a condom with water and popping it in the freezer. Then there are some girls who use vegetables... In fact, you can use a lot of things. Does anyone remember that episode of UK Big Brother where one of the girls went into the garden and substituted a vibrator for the neck of a wine bottle? It wouldn't be my cup of tea, but it clearly worked for her!

Perhaps this shows the lengths people will go to when they don't have the sufficient tools. So maybe Dubai putting a ban on sex toys actually drives people to use stranger, and less safe, items. Surely this is where weird fetishes begin?

Women also have the benefit of having a few areas to explore in order to pleasure themselves. The G-spot and the clitoris being the usual suspects. Although the latter is sometimes bypassed, but girls who don't want to insert anything inside themselves should probably pay more attention to it. Sometimes all you need is a gentle rub to set you off...

It's also the one when indulging in a little bit of discreet self-love. I've been in some very public places (yes, in Dubai) and managed to enjoy myself. A little bit of pressure on the pubic bone and I'm away! However, I'm quite lucky, I don't necessarily require any visual or written stimulation to help me along. My imagination is vivid, so I just come up with some sexy scenarios in my head. If I am out and about and in need of some visual stimulation, I'll drop my friend in the UK, Mr. HC, a text asking him for a picture. He'll know exactly what I mean by that and send me just what I need to see to send me over the edge.

The pictures, the text messages and the online chats with Mr. HC, all play a huge part in my self-love enjoyment. Without him, I wouldn't enjoy it as much as I do. And the mediums we use aren't restricted by the authorities, so I can say and see what I like.

But what if you're not as lucky as I am? What if you need some help in reaching that point of no return? With nearly every webpage with a reference to sex on it blocked by Internet Service Providers in Dubai, a lack of steamy novels on the city's bookshelves and every sexy photo in magazines, imported from abroad, manually blacked out with a marker pen, it's tricky to get what you need.

I do often wonder how men cope. Sometimes I think it's almost a chore for them - a physical release that needs to happen and not something they take the time to enjoy. As a woman, I can make mine as quick as I like or, with so many different areas to explore and so many tools to use, I can draw it out and let my imagination run wild. For men, it seems there's only one area - the shaft. Correct me if I'm wrong, guys, but the balls are like women's breasts; yes, it might make you tingle and they're great to pay attention to when with a partner, but when alone it's not going to send you over the edge.

So, what do guys do to spice up their self-love lives? Do blow-up dolls ever really come into the equation? And where do you get the visual stimulation from? Or is it a case of hand, shaft, tug?

Whatever it is that gets you going, I don't think self-love is anything to be ashamed of. It's certainly seen me through some dry spells.